CHRISTOFFER IS COMING HOME!!!!

AND I'M EXCITED.

post script

My mother is a wonderful lady. she always has been. always will be.

I can only hope my efforts make me half as lovely as she.

SHE"S AMAZINGGGG

(happy mother's day)

Thor needed a lot more Thor in it

BUT I AM SO EXCITED TO SEE IT AGAIN SOON WITH MY BIG VIKING BROTHER CHRIS!

so other than that..

http://www.dwell.com/slideshows/a-platform-for-living.html?slide=8&c=y&paused=true

http://dadsaretheoriginalhipster.tumblr.com

http://www.teavana.com/tea-products/tea-storage-tins

thats what i'm into.

sometimes I ask myself "what would Audrey Hepburn do in this situation". Sounds silly but it makes things pretty simple. For example, today I'm facing the problem of what to wear. So I open one of my books and pick out an outfit I like of hers, and accommodate with my own clothes.

Adventure Time!

Hot Yoga: One of the most vigorous and challenging forms of yoga, Bikram yoga is a standardized sequence of 26 postures performed in a room that is heated to about 104 degrees Fahrenheit.

.

I arrived late, and had to join the class after it had already started. Setting out my mat, I scoped out the scene.. and I was a bit disappointed that it wasn't as hot as I wanted (that QUICKLY changed) also, the music was bad.. techno.. REALLY!? After the first few poses, I started really feeling the heat. I noticed it because when I did certain poses, my hands would slip but my muscles became more pliable (almost like magic. they felt like they could do anything). After we were done with the hour of hot yoga, I felt more energised than i had all week. stepping outside felt SO good too. I definitely want to go again.

&than! I finish up school in the next two days. I've had a fun time studying so far and i hope it really pays off. this anatomy class is alot, but i feel like i've learned alot. So i'm ready to take it down!

Work has gone really well too, i've worked 20 hours this week so far, and i'm feeling really comfortable. Working in that setting has really helped me get familiar with med terms and the clinical aspect of everything i'm studying. also, i am starting to realize how much insurance companies have in all this, and what it takes to deal with them. gross

that is all.

Strange weekend. Discovered awesome new music.

Foals(Spanish Sahara is a great song)

Lykke Li's new album

Kimbra(i discovered her thru Miami Horror's I Look to You)

Mogwai

There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning. ~Louis L'Amour

If you haven't noticed, this is quite a transitional period in my life. Not an identity crisis, just a "I need to find more productive hobbies" time. My brother Chreeeeees has been talking to me for years about training for a triathlon and/or half marathon. Bless his heart, so far I've been much too lazy to stick with training for more than two weeks. I could use some outside encouragement on this, some accountability.

Being in the location I am, there are pros and cons. The pros are that it is super easy to run these back country roads and (if i had a bike) even easier to bike. Lake Michigan is right around the corner, this is good because it will help me feel what it is to swim in a cold lake like the one I would be swimming during the actual triathlon. And also, I have

beaucoup free time since I don't have many friends to hang out with; that also brings me to my cons.. Since I don't hang out with many people, especially those who are into fitness,

I'm lacking accountability. In the past, the winter months have also been a huge con. Ice keeps me from running outside, and going to the gym is money money money. Since it is summer now, that is not a problem.

So if you can help me out, give me a call, ask if I've done any training today. I'll start out slow, but I really have to do it this year. Chris and I have a date in October and I want to be able to do my part!

In other news: I really appreciate the friends who stick with me through everything. Thick and thin. Because trust me, its hard to stay my friend after I lash out at you for no apparent reason or after you've seen me cry (my face is swollen, i sound like a stuck piggg.... its not cute).

This might be weird, but I'd like recognise one in particular. I found some pictures that I hadn't seen in over a year. They are from my 19th birthday. This girl is so special to me. She is going on big adventures this summer and I'm so proud of her!!! My baby is growing up so fast ;)

I can always count on this girl to forgive graciously..

Also I can count on her to let me use her shower, take her clothes, tell me when something I'm wearing looks bad, or if I look ugly that day. She's the baste. We can get into our "fat" clothes and do yoga, or P90x comfortably without being self-conscious. experiment with cooking (like our first time making cookies, or omelettes LOL). Its cool that I can even call her when I don't want to make a simple decision like should I go to the gym, or read?

I'm so very grateful that I met her that long time ago back in teacher Pat's Sabbath school room. She is the definition of a true friend. And I will miss the crap out of her this summer for sure.

I set my alarm for 4am a about 2 hours ago. I was initially going to skip my night shower/workout and get up an hour early to complete everything on time.

but as you can see, i am not asleep.

I find there is a pretty solid trend in my sleeping habits. The more i'm worked, the less i sleep.

Maybe because my brain is f i n a l l y working, so it takes longer to slow down. Or maybe its because my body is doing all the work the whole day, so at night my brain finally takes it's center stage role and keeps me up. Not sure. All I know is that its been consistent.

The summer I was canvassing, walking 25 miles a day, in the heat, with people... and guess what, I slept (on average) about 3 hours a night, no problems. I wouldnt fall sleep until a good hour of quite time had been completed. And before anyone else woke up, I was awake.

Three years later when I was digging in Jordan, same story. Hard manual labor, blazing sun, people all day. Lights out was 9pm, but I didn't fall asleep till after midnight. Wake up call was made at 4am, but I was already wide awake.

The last few weeks, guess what... wake up is 5am, I dont fall asleep until about 1am. I'm on my feet for an 8 hour shift, with people, and than class (or work) with more people.

I can't figure it out. I've experimented with different "good sleeping habits" like getting exercise, going to bed at the same time, not eating within 4 hours, no tv, texting, etc...

this is a rough draft, but here is what i've got

1)People make me tired while I'm with them, so when I'm alone, I need my time, so i stay awake.

2)Heat makes me groggy, I might get dehydrated a tiny bit, so my cells might metabolise and function slower. So when I cool back down, they make up for lost time, keeping my body awake before it can than "restore" itself with sleep.

3)Physical activity.. I don't really know why this would be a problem at all. ok, maybe because the more i "exercise" the more energised I become... and i guess i have lag. lol

The weirdest part about this all is that even though it sounds like i'm complaining about lack of sleep.. I'm not. To be completely truthful, I feel way more rested with THIS kind of 3-4 hour sleep, than I do with 7 hours during less hectic times.

[wow, that was really really way too long. I'm going to go take a shower now, and reset my alarm to 5am. Goodnight yo]

Sunlight over me no matter what I do!

First off, I should have written on this Monday, because I was much more positive than. let us be real.

Finishing up clinicals at this long term care facility is putting me in a better mood the closer it comes. Don't get me wrong, i LOVED it there. but my feet hurt, and my OCD kicks in hard there, and it hurts my being that there are people more cranky than I (&i'mtalkingabouttheworkers!)

I count my blessings though. I have met some really really rad people, gotten two new job offers, and also gotten over my fear of naked obese people, large amounts of feces, oozing sores, and see-through ripping skin. I've learned a lot. I'm glad about it all.

enough of that.

ps. I'm happy to get rid of this yucky uniform of red and white. gross.

have i mentioned how excited i am for the soon released fleet foxes album. HOLY MOLY.

GOODNEWS! I've started really cleaning my room, and doing my stretches again. things are looking up regarding the no facebook thing.

this blog is completely useless, i realize that. Just thought I'd document an update.

To say the least

I have a good feeling about this- I just deactivated my facebook for the time being.

I figure that at this time, the bad is outweighing the good. Its distracting to see old friends (yes, i'm talking about Matt) on my news feed. Do I really need to know who they're becoming friends with and saying hi to and whatnot? Its easy for me to run to things like facebook to procrastinate. And at this time in my life where I am doing clinicals, starting a new job, and finishing up my school year with finals.. I dont need to be procrastinating. I need to grow up. I trust I will be back on the social network pretty soon, but not till this summer. Hopefully (ideally) I can use this new free time to actually write blogs(!) or get in shape, or keep my room clean :)

wish me luck

I want to be them/be their friends/have their fun

Fleet Foxes - Grown Ocean from Fleet Foxes on Vimeo.

You have no idea how i've been in love with them for so long.

and you still think i'm crazy for hating bananas?

Problems with Hurricanes

by Victor Hernandez Cruz

A campesina looked at the air

And told me:

With hurricanes it's not the wind

or the noise or the water.

I'll tell you he said:

It's the mangoes, avocados

Green plantains and bananas

flying into town like projectiles.

How would your family

feel if they had to tell

The generations that you

got killed by a flying

Banana.

Death by drowning has honor

If the wind picked you up

and slammed you

Against a mountain boulder

This would not carry shame

But

to suffer a mango smashing

Your skull

or a plantain hitting your

Temple at 70 miles per hour

Is the ultimate disgrace

The campesino takes off his hat-

As a sign of respect

towards the fury of the wind

And says:

Don't worry about the noise

Don't worry about the water

Don't worry about the wind -

If you are going out

beware of mangoes

And all such beautiful

sweet things.

yep. a real post will come on another day.

.

Its always darkest before dawn, right?

Fits of Rage

I don't need to say much to explain this photo.

I cut off my hair without thinking. :) here

Maybe I'll go shorter, Any ideas on the cut I should get next?

Starbucks

I've been a regular to starbucks this year. Sitting down (even now) and listening to the mellow music, sipping on a hot chai latte with whip cream, glancing up now and than to watch groups of young students and busy businessmen rushing about. There are a few like me, the girl across has her computer out against the red wall with cursive lettering; she is typing. Her eyes keep referring to a book. This quite studious girl and I have come before our classes, something I do at least once a week to review the heavy load of information I have to know before my exams.
This study time has helped a tremendous amount as well, I'm top of all of my classes! Its a peaceful time, and until today, I've never gotten distracted (if you'd call this a distraction). The convenient location of only a few miles from my campus, and the volume of this place make it so ideal to learn. I've tried the library; the too quite feeling hangs all around with the occasional bust of sound that scares and distracts you for the next few minutes, along with the ex-classmates saying "hi" every once in awhile makes it almost impossible for me to get things done. earphones don't work either, because than I feel I'm in my own world and I end up watching movies or downloading music. The environment of starbucks and of other coffee shops have done my grades good.
I know I'm not alone either. I'm curious to know where other people like to study. Do you study alone? With a group? At home? In the park? What works for you?

.Stefani

Tonight, when i came home from my class with bad mood and empty stomach ruling my mind, i decided to go with a quick and easy soup-at-hand to warm my soul. As i was putting the little container into my microwave, i realized with ultimate horror, that out of the corner of my eye i saw a pot on the stove. I racked my mind to remember the last time i even used the stove, i settled on 8 days ago to a breakfast i made for chris before he left for peru. my stomach lurched as i thought of cleaning out the eight-day left overs molding inside that medium size pot. but as i was working up the courage to do the nasty deed, i stopped on an even OLDER memory that was almost a week older than the moldy oatmeal monster. there was an un-eaten dinner roast in the oven. i wanted to cry right than and there and forget about it. after i thru that thought out, i considered throwing it ALL away.. the pot, the dish the roast was in.. and the silverwere that were sitting near by. i decided that was really dumb and that i'd have to get down to business, and soon, before small animals were born right out of the stench.
about an hour later, after gloves were applied, and scarf was wrapped tightly around my face (careful to cover the nose) i heated up the water like a pro. from here the work is all a blur. i can imagine myself trapping the moldy monsters and rushing them out to the garbage, submerging the pots into the steaming water bath and letting time pass. Maybe five minutes went by, i think that is fair, i than took the scrubbing sponge into my left hand and lifted the previous home of the oatmeal mold'en...

This next part might change your view of me.

I looked down to what my hands were cleaning and became VERY AWARE that the residue that had withheld time and boiling water looked like ripped skin. I"M DEATHLY AFRAID AND REVOLTED BY THIS ONE TEXTURE.*

Now this is realtime. i'm sitting in a room far away from that horrid kitchen writing this and waiting for my courage to return. I ran away, i did. but you might too if you looked down in a medium sized metal pot and saw something so frightening looking back at you.



what would be in your medium sized metal pot?

I asked some friends.

Mom: "the dark"
Chancey: "spiders. taylor swift's voice"
Stella: "fire ants. eh. someone elses unwashed feet in my bed.... *FEET*"
Houston: "porcelain baby dolls and drab shades of yellow and tan"
Victoria: "cats tongues!"
Christian: "being in a position where i can't move my arms freely"
Daniel: "to get stung [by a bee] .. also of spiders basically any bugs with a large exoskeleton"
Alicia: "lines being left on the white board, guys missing spots on their face when they shave, & aiplane blankets (texture)"
Samantha: "Bald people. Mouth breathers. Paper"
Wesley: "crowds? breaking bones randomly. if i was a girl i'd be so afraid of public groping."
Melissa: "Frogs, heights, and seeing needles go into the skin"
Rachel: "the shower drain, its disgusting and gross and i don't know whats down there! touching the handle on public toilets or doors i do it with my feet"
Will: "Balloons being popped"
Meagan: "Zombies/ doors cracked at night"
Emily: "Spiders, the ocean--the thought of being out there in the middle and not knowing whats under me! bees. pet dander (the word). bed bugs in a made bed"
Tim: "food getting contaminated with stuff, bugs of any sort, touching the bottoms of shoes, inhaling mold spores"
Whitney: "blowing up balloons"
Ryan: "diving, water in general. awkward hugs"
Matt: "being afraid. i'm not easily excited, so the anxiety of an onsetting fear is what seems to scare me the most"
Nikki: "drowning. mice, its not that i'm scared of them its their feet"
Ashley: "birds, squirrels, and da po po"
Emily: "falling in a cactus patch. eating something that turns out to be alive, and also i'm very scared of swarms"
Daniel: "social interaction"
Sarah: "centipedes"
Lee: "mice, dead animals, snakes.."


Indiana Jones would realise an endless pit of snakes. Shauna, one of the most perfect asians at SAU would open the lid and leaping frogs would emerge. My mom would reach in to clean and see her fingers being mauled by the garbage desposal. Geoffrey would open the lid and find a roaring vacuum. Some people pride themselves disowning such petty fears, they might look down and see only themselves.

with love,
Stefani



*inside of pumpkins, peppers, fish gills, glands... all of those and everything that looks like those should be destroyed forever like that ring in that one movie.. or three.

Lists

TO DO LISTS!

To Cook:
-Quiche
-Pastry
-Apple Squash Soup
-Grilled Vegetables and some Meat
-Fresh Pie
-Chilli
-Grilled Salmon
-Grilled Chicken
-Smoothie

To Buy:
-Sheets
-Wallpaper(to decoupage)
xSCHOOL BOOKS
-a rug
-a haircut
-Costume

To Complete:
-Anthropology class
-Rearranging my room
xSend Meagan her earrings
-Buying Alex's Truck
-One hundred Years of Solitude, Marquez
-On The Road, Kerouac
-Noughts And Crosses, Blackman
-Don Quixote

:) To Read:
-The Picture of Dorian Gray, Oscar WIlde
- War and Peace
- Artemis Fowl, Colfer
- Perfume, Suskind
- No Exit, Sartre
- The Bell Jar

What I'm Listening To:
- Fleet Foxes
- Iron & Wine
- Julian Plenti
- Lisa Mitchell
- The Temper Trap
- Modest Mouse
- Coldplay
- Interpol
- The XX
- Yeah Yeah Yeahs
- Tegan & Sarah
- Death Cab for Cutie
- Little Dragon
- Miike Snow
- Feist
- Sufjan Stevens
- Kings of Convenience
- Sigur Ros
- Metric
- Nina Kinert
- Ane Brun
- Pinback
- Jars of Clay
- Lykke Li
- Sia
- Jose Gonzales
- Adele
- Bon Iver
- School Of Seven Bells
- K-OS
- Phoenix
- Crystal Castles
- Cut Copy
- Deadmau5
- Hot Chip
- Miami Horror
- Motion City Soundrack
- The Strokes
- Kings of Leon
- Of Montreal
- Grizzly Bear

for starters

The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.